


Sinking is All I Had Planned

by yuffiehighwind



Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [1]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-01
Updated: 2003-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strife and Discord discover the unpleasant truth about their relationship with Ares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sinking is All I Had Planned

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place shortly after S1 Ep 15 of Young Hercules, "Ares on Trial." The title is a lyric from the song "Humpty Dumpty" by Aimee Mann.

"Who am I, Strife?"

He stared dumbly at her.

"Gimme a sec. Is this a trick question?"

Discord harumphed and grabbed the jug of wine out of his grip, swigging it and falling back on the leopard print couch.

"Who do you  _think_ …I am?"

He tried to take the jug back but she batted his hands away. He crossed his arms and settled down beside her.

"Well…you're… _Discord_."

She shook her head. She groaned.

"Nobody gets it. Not one bit."

Strife’s brow furrowed and his nose scrunched up. He tried to grab for the jug again.

"Get what?"

She took a swig and pointed at the ceiling.

"I am asking how you view me, Strife. As a person,  _god_ , whatever. Who…am…I? Who is Discord, in your  _humble_  opinion?"

She arched an eyebrow and shoved the jug at him.

"You are…You promise not to hit me?"

She nodded to the three Strife's gazing dubiously at her and held up two fingers.

"Scout’s honor."

"You're…well…kinda bitchy. And loud. And self-centered. And really mean. And also kinda sadistic…"

She threw him for a loop and grinned, laughing obnoxiously. She slapped him on the shoulder good-naturedly, making him wince.

"That…" She hiccuped and started to tear up. "That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me."

Strife blinked and tilted his head.

"Are you drunk?"

She giggled.

"Gods don’t get drunk, silly!"

Strife took another swig of the jug and made a face.

"On Dionysus’ brew, they do."

Discord shrugged and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I’m bitchy, huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"And loud?"

"Yup."

His head buzzed from the wine but he drank some more anyway. Discord idly fiddled with the pins on his shirt and he could feel her hair on his neck. It was soft and raven black. Discord never liked ravens much, he thought. She liked vultures, though. What did  _that_  say about her?

"Am I really self-centered, Strife?"

All he could manage to reply with was a nod. Discord sighed. She never sighed.

"Is that how you see me?"

Strife looked down at her and saw her eyes were closed and some wisps of raven hair fell in her face. He set the jug on the floor beside the couch and brushed them out of her eyes.

"Nah, I know there’s more there. Layers, or some shit."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Thanks." She looked around. "Where’d the jug go?"

He cupped her face in his hand and leaned closer.

"Don’t matter."

"What are you doing?" she asked.

His hand was cold. No, not cold,  _cool_. It felt nice.

"I’m…not sure."

Discord tilted her head and her words met his hand, her lips moving on his palm. That felt nice too.

"Looks like you’re trying to kiss me." She smirked.

"Maybe."

"Well are you or not?"

She tilted her head up, closing her eyes, and he leaned down to meet her soft…

"Ahem."

Just as their lips almost touched, the low guttural noise of someone clearing their throat blasted through the apartment. Both looked up to see Ares leaning against the far pillar by the door scowling.

"Get up."

Startled, Strife abruptly shifted away from Discord and started to stand up, but felt a rough hand grab his shoulder to pull him back down. Drunk or not, she wasn’t letting him go that quick.

"Fuck you, Ares, this is none of your business."

Ares’ frown turned up just slightly.

"It most definitely  _is_ , Discord. I am your guardian by decree of the  _Council_ , ever since your little attempt to, oh,  _frame_  me for the murder of our shit of a little brother and, oh yes, I have work for you two to do, and you  _will_  do what I say, not fuck around which it appears you two slackers were just about to  _do_."

Ares walked over to the couch, boots thudding on the stone floor. Discord glared up at him and gripped Strife’s arm so tightly it hurt while he tried not to wince. This wasn’t about business, certainly not. And though she usually cared what Ares had to say and doted on him like a puppy, while never even giving Strife the time of day, something about Dionysus’ wine and the buzz in her skull currently said otherwise.

"This isn’t about work, and don’t you deny it. You’re  _jealous_ , Ares."

The war god did something neither expected then. He burst into laughter.

" _Jealous?_  Jealous? Why on Earth would I be  _jealous?_ "

Discord looked confused, as did Strife. They pointed to each other, simultaneously exclaiming,

"Of her!"

"Of him!"

They looked at each other, shocked, then at Ares, who wore a self-satisfied smirk both wanted more than anything to punch off his face.

"Why would I… _possibly_  care? I  _have_  both of you." He laughed some more. "You know, it’s…almost  _fitting_ , in this little triangle, that everyone would have  _fucked_  everyone else."

Discord's heart stopped and Strife wanted to sink into the bottom of the ocean. Neither was special. Neither really had him. Ares didn’t love either of them and both were too blind to realize it. He’d used them both and they still followed him, like lost pets. Both knew, too, deep down, which might have been why they’d gotten together that night, to drink it all away and forget in each other. How fitting.

"If you two are done glaring at me, or making out, or whatever it is you two  _do_ , I have a new assignment for you losers. It involves, as you might imagine, Hercules. I will be in the Halls of War. Be quick."

He waved an arm and faded into purple mist. The two godlings sat in silence, staring at the cracks in the floor tiles. Several minutes later, Discord spoke.

"Someday, we will be winners. We will get on without him, or anyone else. You’ll see."

Strife shook his head.

"No, Discord. It’s a pipe-dream. It ain’t ever gonna happen, and you know it."

She picked up the jug and rested her head on his shoulder.

"A girl can dream."

As she moved to take a swig, he stopped her and placed the jug back on the floor. He stood up and headed towards the door.

"Better go see what he wants."

Discord frowned and stood up too. She walked over to him and looked up, wishing she was taller. Maybe they’d all respect her more then. Strife glanced down and saw her scowling at him.

"What? What now?"

"Is that it?" she asked. "You’re going to be his lapdog for the rest of eternity? You know what I say to that? Fuck it!"

With no response, he just frowned down at her, fading into purple mist and leaving her alone in the apartment. She stomped her foot and let out a frustrated shriek, fading into purple mist herself. Two seconds later she was standing in the Halls of War next to Strife awaiting Ares’ orders.


End file.
